“The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they might have life and have it to the full.”
—John 10:10 (NIV)
“Suicide is the ultimate temper tantrum,” a counselor once told me when I said I didn’t want to live as a blind person. It was all too hard.
Ultimate temper tantrum? I wanted to say,”What do I care about that? And your point would be…?”
Oh! I guess she wanted me to care about how other people would feel. But I didn’t. Pain tangled around my mind making empathy impossible.
What did she know about anything anyway sitting there fully sighted? Nothing. Just like the rest of the sighted world. No concept of anything. I would have liked to climb up on a rooftop and taken them all out. Except I couldn’t see well enough to do that, and I didn’t know how to work the gun. Or even own “the gun,” for that matter.
It all strikes me as sort of funny now, but it wasn’t funny at the time. It happened many years ago, and PRAISE GOD! I’ve come out on the other side. But I wouldn’t have on my own strength. My life is a testament to God’s power at work. Every time I hear the words, “Beauty from the ashes,” I think, “Hey! That’s me. I was in the ashes.”
All this came to mind recently as I heard about the Germanwings co-pilot who may have had vision problems and definitely suffered from depression. I wish I could have talked to him! To tell him, “Yes, I know it stinks. I get it. You can’t picture ever getting past this. Can’t imagine not being a pilot. But just hang on…there is life on the other side. God is bigger than vision problems or depression.”
He’s bigger than so many of the things we face. But in our own head and heart, we can’t conceive it. The enemy loves that! To keep us locked in our own fears and limitations. Not turning to God.
When we do turn to God, even if it’s in anger—as it was with me—he will respond. You don’t need to get past the anger and depression to turn to God. TAKE IT TO HIM! He is the healer, and He can handle strong emotions. However, you’ve got to allow time for His plans to unfold, and then reach out for whatever help is available at the moment.
That could mean imperfect people. That could mean medication. (Depression has chemical roots.) That could be the healing balm of music. Maybe some McDonald’s french fries? (Just saying’ !) Whatever it is…go day by day, but don’t stop talking to God and seeking His plans.
Someone once commented on my writing, “I can tell you’ve been through deep waters with Jesus.” I guess that’s so. I’m grateful for that…that He cares enough to suffer with me. To suffer FOR me.
This week we celebrate Jesus’ resurrection and victory over death. His victory over the enemy who “comes only to steal and kill and destroy” (John 10:10).
People! This is what it’s all about! Jesus knows our suffering! His Holy Spirit is our comforter! He is our advocate with the Father! Celebrate victory with Jesus!
And never let the devil steal your joy.