“Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed,
for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. I say to myself, ‘The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for him.’ ”
—Lamentations 3:22-24 (NIV)
Have you ever felt so disheartened by God’s people that you’ve been tempted to walk away from the whole deal, including God?
I’m there right now.
I announced to my husband two days ago that I was going to go secular…gonna do whatever I please and not apologize for any of it. Make pleasure my god (like most Americans) and enjoy a great time!
I promptly felt sick. Literally.
Then my husband said he wasn’t going secular with me. And my 10-year-old son said, “Don’t be mad at God, Mom! Be mad at Satan!”
So much for my secular support team.
As tempting as it is for me to blame God for what his people do, I have to remember that God is holy—meaning separate and pure and unlike any other. Especially sinful man.
Men have free wills (not to mention issues and agendas), and they act of their own volition. For their own reasons. And they’re not always godly reasons.
So at this point, I just need to take a break from the people and get back to what started me on this journey in the first place—my relationship with God. How He proved faithful in my time of need—a time when I wasn’t being particularly faithful to Him (kinda like right now).
But I’m battling. And I know you all have been there, too. You’ve told me, and I apprecaite it!
We surely can disappoint each other on the journey, can’t we? But now is the time for us to remember that magical five-letter word Jesus spoke about: G-R-A-C-E. As God extends to us, we must extend to each other.
In my current state, I’m reminded of a favorite book on this very subject. It’s by Anne Lamott and called Grace (Eventually): Thoughts on Faith.
I love the (Eventually) part. Because—right now—if I were to get a tattoo, it would say, “Whatever.”
I am hopeful, though, that it’s all temporary. And something great will come about as a result of these setbacks. That’s usually how God works.
So, while I’m in a “whatever… grace…eventually” holding pattern, I hope you’ll understand. And pray that I land in the right place.